you will be mine.
25.4.10 - 25.4.10 25 °C
There are two afflictions in life that stop me in my tracks: FOMO and FE, otherwise known as Fear Of Missing Out and Food Envy, respectively. My current predicament is made exponentially more difficult because I risk suffering from them both at once! The horrors!!
The task at hand is not an easy one. I must decide where to be for the summer: home in Vancouver with the inexpensive, mouth-watering, addictive Asian kitchen I was raised on, or somewhere in Europe sampling (and justifying) new exotic treats. While FE is pretty much the worst thing ever, there is more to this decision than food.
On the one hand, Vancouver is not going anywhere. My friends will be there with open arms regardless of when I come home (they've patiently been doing this for the past 2 years now, thanks guys!). It would make financial sense to stay as I am already in Europe, plus there are opportunities here that I cannot find at home, such as learning French in France, or volunteering in refugee camps. That said, though, staying put for a while is appealing and there is a part of my batteries that can only be recharged at home.
This choice has been consuming me for a few weeks now. Each time I email or chat to someone it seems silly to even ask - of course Europe! There will be time for career-hunting later. What is hard to describe to non-Vancouverites, though, is the significance of summer. Missing one by choice is like going into a mall on a beautiful day, or doing laundry on a Saturday night. It is an absurd decision that will undoubtedly result in you missing out and becoming the object of scorn. More than that, doing so without good reason becomes almost offensive and borders on sacrilegious.
Of my twenty-seven years I have missed three, each more painful than the last. The first two were because I was traveling, and despite being in Europe then Australia I still felt the pangs of FOMO. Last summer was absolute torture as I spent it working for the federal government in Ottawa where it was too hot and humid outside to do anything and there were no oceans or beaches in sight. While I tried to make the best of it and certainly had the best people to survive it with, my worst FOMOs were realized every time I logged onto facebook. It was awful. Clearly missing my fourth summer is not a decision to be taken lightly, even if it is for good reasons.
A few weeks ago I indulged in one of my favorite past times: making Vancouver itineraries. My dear friend, Jo, is visiting from New Zealand for a few days in May so I set to work thinking of all the best places to stroll, shop, eat, drink and dance. For an hour I tried to express the peace of running the seawall early in the morning, the energy of dinner and drinks on Commercial or Main, the vibe on patios in Gastown, the joy of Granville Island, and the delight of Asian cuisine everywhere. But I fell short. Words and excessive exclamation marks cannot express my love for the city, not to mention the friends I miss so much who live there. It is truly a magical combination and my attempt to tell her that could not have been better-timed. Writing that email got my wheels in motion and I have finally reached a decision.
So, back to this Rolls Royce dilemma. My flights are booked. My next Utopian summer at home commences June 21 and it feels fantastic. Neither FOMO nor FE is anywhere in sight.